What's up, Der Steev?

The End.

2004-11-12T15:45:30Z

This is my very last post on LiveJournal...

...because I'm over HERE now!

See you on www.steev.org!

Blam.

2004-11-11T21:01:53Z

We now have 45 tickets reserved for tomorrow's Don't Spit the Water! The theater seats 50, or 60 if we add a row of seats behind the back row.

This is incredibly exciting! It's difficult to think of much else, especially work, when there's such a fun show in just over 24 hours. I have Pastor of Muppets rehearsal tonight, but my mind will most definitely be elsewhere.

That said, if you're planning on catching Don't Spit the Water tomorrow, and haven't made a reservation, you really, really should. We're also taking reservations for next week's show, our grand finale, which is expected to sell out very quickly.

Email your seat reservations to dontspit@gmail.com.

Beans.

TV B Gone!

2004-11-11T15:34:19Z

http://www.tvbgone.com/

Of course, when I read about this in WIRED magazine, I sped to their web site and purchased one immediately. It arrived in the mail a few days ago.

I'm not as mischievous as I'd like to be with this thing. I'm actually pretty chicken when it comes to whipping it out and disrupting public TV viewing. The device actually turns TVs ON a lot quicker than it turns them OFF, which is a fun little irony.

I was able to shut off a TV at the bar in the Ogilvie Center Metra station yesterday. I was pretty far away from it, too, which was impressive. I pressed the button, the TV clicked off, and I casually walked away from the bar. When I was very far away, I turned around to look, and the TV was still off.

It's not as easy as they make it seem to be coy about it. Sure, the device is small... but it does look like a small TV remote control. If a TV shuts off, and people see some bozo standing there with a tiny TV remote control, he will undoubtedly be fingered as a suspect.

I have plans to take this little gem to Best Buy to see what kind of frenzy I can whip their employees into as I roam the TV aisles laying waste to rows full of high definition insanity.

BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM.

2004-11-10T15:31:34Z

So Becky and I bought a car last week... a Honda CR-V. It's a fitting replacement for the crunchable Beetle, and makes us both feel a little safer on the road. It's a compact SUV, and gets decent mileage, so I don't feel TOO bad about the purchase. It's amazing how fast my steadfast refusal to ever own an SUV disappeared. I bet it had something to do with almost being flattened by an SUV.

I know nothing about wheeling and dealing for the best price on a car. Since it was a 2005 model, we had little room to negotiate. We did get them to knock the price down a bit, and they threw in the subwoofer and cargo cover for good measure. Kinda sorta. I don't know. There were a lot of numbers on that page, I don't remember which ones corresponded to things I need to worry about.

We wanted to drive the car off the lot, so Becky brought it back in on Monday to have the subwoofer installed. Another thing I know nothing about is a car stereo, and what a subwoofer does. I just kind of assumed having the subwoofer would make the stereo sound more awesome than it already sounded, and since the Beetle's crummy sound, I had always promised myself my next car stereo would be primo.

Becky picked the car up last night, popped in one of her Britney CDs, and near-pooped the seat from the throbbing, soul-bumping bass. "Holy McCows," she thought, and immediately called me to laugh at me. My brilliant dealmaking had turned my nice safe family car into a pimped out ghetto-blaster with wheels.

When I got home, I tried it out for myself. Becky was right. Even with the bass turned down to -6, all music was completely unlistenable. Tom Waits was actually painful. Even Gordon Gano hurt my sternum a little bit. I was heartbroken. I was depressed. I was destroyed. Until we found... the manual! Right there on the passenger seat! The subwoofer had a manual of operations! And controls! Dials!

So all is good. I just need to find time to hit that subwoofer with a flashlight and a screwdriver. I can adjust the bass, I can adjust its volume. I can hook up my compact SUV with some mad, mad soundwavez. Boi-oi-oing.

Week 3!

2004-11-10T15:17:37Z

Week 3 of DSTW is shaping up to be spectacular. We already have 32 ticket reservations, and it's still only Wednesday. For week 1 we had about 13 audience members. We had about 30 for week 2. I anticipate a complete sell-out for the next two weeks, which is super exciting.

Week 1 of the show was lots of fun. It was nice to test the show out in front of a live audience. Week 2 was so unexpectedly super. Playing for a packed house added so much to the show. I really do feel like we're sitting on something great here, with lots of great potential. The cast is just superb. Everybody brings such great surprises to the table, and I can't wait to see them rock out next week.

I was about $100 down after week 1, then broke even after week 2. If we really do sell out these next two shows, I'll actually make some money on this thing. Crazy.

Coming up... a silly story about a subwoofer.

Don't Spit the Water - Week #2

2004-11-08T21:16:17Z

Week #2 of Don't Spit the Water was phenomenal. We had a tiny crowd for week 1, due to Halloween and all... but we had a full house this last Friday.

The show plays amazingly to a full house. What a freakin' rush. I hope we have full houses for the remainder of the run.

Beans, beans.

Ka-blammo.

2004-11-08T20:27:10Z

In an epilogue to this story, I might have mused, "we were on our way to the gym, so we expected to be a little sore the next day anyway." I'll blow that zinger in the intro, though, and skip straight to the story.

So we're heading southwest on my favorite slanty street, Gross Point Road. At the same time, a 17-year old unlicensed driver, Jazmin O., is heading northeast on Gross Point Road. When we come to the intersection of Gross Point and Skokie Boulevard, Becky and I continue going straight, on account of our shiny green light. Jazmin, however, wants to head due north on Skokie Boulevard. So she does. For about a millisecond. Then her Geo Tracker stops moving. On account of ka-blammo.

The actual "accident" part of an accident lasts a few milliseconds. The reason people say, "I only remember the moments before and after," is that there really isn't much else.

The "before" moments were pretty scant. We knew we would hit for about one or two seconds. I slammed the brakes and swerved to my right, assuming the other driver would do the same. The most traumatic part of this all was that moment we both realized the girl wasn't stopping, and that we were about to slam into her head-on. In fact, every time I re-tell it, I re-live it a bit, and my whole body stiffens up. I know that's cheesy, and I know I'll get over it. So we screamed. I think I hollered something like, "we're going to hit!" Or something dorky. I don't remember.

The "after" moments were pretty surreal and wicked. The airbags deployed. The car filled up with white dust from the airbags, which Becky and I both thought was smoke. Becky and I both screamed a bit more, and assured each other that we were breathing and conscious. That part was great. Becky got out of the car and shouted for people to call 911. I was frozen behind the wheel, my legs locked on the brake and the clutch, my arms outstretched at the wheel. I couldn't really turn my head one way or the other, and I couldn't release the brake or clutch. My right wrist looked really bad, and I was sure I had broken some bones.

A nice lady came over to the car and talked to me a bit, asked me some questions about my neck and back. She reassured me that the "smoke" was really airbag powder, and that my car wasn't about to explode. I heard sirens, answered some questions for a medic, and was hustled over to an ambulance. Minutes later, the girl that hit me was wheeled in the same ambulance, her head directly at my feet. She had burns on her neck from the seatbelt, so they were treating her as if she had broken her neck. She hadn't. She was fine. Hysterical, but fine.

It was an incredibly surreal moment to be staring at this girl, her head at my feet, so soon after she had almost killed me.

Anyway. Blah blah blah. The wrist was only a sprain. I missed a week of work, Becky missed a couple o' days. Aside from my sprained wrist, we both had some pretty wicked neck and back pain for a few days.

The girl's parents' insurance company agreed to cover everything. We got a check for our totaled car very quickly, and are already driving new wheels. A Honda CR-V.

Too much to write about. Too much has happened since I started this entry to really hit all of the details. I've learned much about car accidents, insurance companies, and buying a car... each of which deserves about 10 silly entries in this silly blog.

Long story short: Becky and I were in a car accident. We're fine. And now, regular stuff again.

Totaled.

2004-11-02T01:20:02Z

My Beetle is totaled.

Also, a funny story about Becky leaping onto a couch, a breaking a speaker stand.

These stories, and some incredibly disarming insight, tomorrow, when I feel like typing.

Wow.

2004-11-01T00:35:11Z

Too much to write about. I was in a car accident today, a head on collision. Becky and I are ok, my right wrist is badly sprained, we both have bad necks. Everyone says we'll feel worse tomorrow.

The driver of the other car was at fault, was 17, had no license, no insurance.

Our car is pretty badly busted up, hers is fine.

This is all incredibly surreal. I'll write more about it later. We were lucky as heck to walk away from this as okay as we are.

Heh.

2004-10-29T21:08:13Z

I'll be happy with this turnout:

Week 1 - 20 people

Week 2 - 30 people

Week 3 - 40 people

Week 4 - 50 people

If that's the case, then I'll still make some money on this show. Which would be cool beans.

People from work will eventually be catching this show, which is absolutely petrifying. All they know me as is the quiet web programmer who hangs out in his cube. At least, though, they'll be seeing in in the controlled chaos of DSTW. I KNOW this show will be funny. I'd be more worried if they were coming to see me play with Pastor of Muppets, when those other three groups they'd sit through would be a complete wild card. Plus, those long 4-team improv shows are long, painful things to sit through.

Aaghaglh!@# We open tonight!@#

Pops.

2004-10-29T20:27:52Z

My dad's blessing for tonight's show:

"May the waters of comedy spew forth as fountains of mirth from the mouths of contestants everywhere!"

Indeed.

Beans, beans.

2004-10-29T15:42:24Z

Tonight is the opening for Don't Spit the Water. I'm considerably calm, and the day is moving at a normal pace. I had expected myself to be completely overwhelmed and frantic, and for the day to crawl unnaturally slow. Now that I've put it in print, it's sure to be a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I am not expecting much of a crowd. I have received a large handful of emails in the last few days that have said, "Hey, good luck with the show! I can't be there opening night, but will hopefully catch it before it closes." I've sent out that email countless times for plenty of shows that I never got around to seeing.

It would be nice to see large crowds of improvisors at these shows, but I know how painfully apathetic I can be towards their various improv projects. I think this show will appeal more to the layman, who's just out on the town, looking for a good time. As most of my advertising has been directed at improvisors, I may be in for quite a rude wakening this evening, and a tiny crowd.

We are listed on Metromix, and we are listed in The Reader... both pitifully tiny mentions that only the most astute reader would catch. I'm putting a lot of faith into this costume:

I'll be paying someone $20 to stand outside the theater from 9:30-10:30, hand out fliers, and get people to notice the show. I've never seen anything like that at an improv theater before. Hopefully it will generate some mild buzz and interest.

I am so proud of that mask, by the way. The face was designed by Dave Gilley. I purchased some foam-core board, an x-acto knife, and some elastic string. I printed the face out onto 4 sheets of paper, then glued them together on the foam-core. Next I carefully sliced out the shape of the head with the x-acto, cut some eye holes, attached the elastic, and voila. I am the least crafty person in the universe, and hold this mask up as one of my greatest accomplishments.

If we have a small audience tonight, I'll be content. I'm expecting a very large audience next week, and week 2 is when we'll probably hit our stride, comically. This really is a great show. I think large audiences would be incredibly pleased with it. Hopefully they'll make a pre-emptive dash to the theater to check it out.

http://www.steev.org/dontspit

Learning!

2004-10-26T21:33:07Z

My friend Scott Zibble once mocked that crossword puzzles were dumb, and that nobody ever learned anything from them.

Blatherskite!

Flapdoodle!

Today, for instance, I learned two words that mean, "nonsense." Can you guess what they are?

TP

2004-10-25T19:23:33Z

So much science must have gone into the development of the toilet paper roll. It is time its inventors stand up and be counted.

The roll can't be too big, because then it's too heavy... and the toilet paper will rip when you try pulling it. So they had to find the perfect ratio of roll-size / paper-weight. It had to be heavy enough to feel comfortable on the bum, yet light enough so that one sheet could pull the entire roll, yet heavy enough so that the individual sheets had enough strength to pull the entire roll, yet light enough so that it could be torn with a simple flick of the wrist... yet heavy enough, etc. etc.

So cheers, toilet paper roll inventors. And thumbs-up. Your booties. Har har.

Hmm.

2004-10-25T15:54:20Z

For some reason, the white chocolate Big Kat is far less messy than a milk chocolate Big Kat. The white chocolate is far less flaky than milk chocolate, and almost a bit rubbery.

I'm not sure which is more tasty... the white chocolate may be a tad too sweet for its own good. I can, however, definitively say that the regular sized Kit Kats are a more satisfying snack than the Big Kat in any variety.

Getting closer...

2004-10-25T14:31:36Z

I held the full tech/dress rehearsal for Don't Spit the Water this Sunday. We spent the first half slowly walking through the show, and the second half performing the show for real live contestants, who had generously volunteered an hour of their time. The constestants had never seen the show before, and knew very little about it, so it was a pretty cool way to test the show out.

As it turn out, the show works. It lasts about 45 minutes, which is perfect. The whole water-spitting deal worked great... contestants would laugh with the water in their mouth, and would finally expel it violently when they were pushed over the edge. Some contestants lasted through entire bits, some spit early... a nice variety, and some nice pacing.

It was an incredible release to see the show work so well. The comedians were hilarious, and had me in tears several times. I can now get through the week feeling excitement for the show, instead of anxiety. This will be a hilarious, fun show. Even if we have a 2-person audience, those two people will go home entertained.

The only downer of the run through was when a police officer came in to let me know I had just been ticketed, and that my car was about to be towed. One of the test contestants and I each got a $90 ticket for parking in the loading zone next to the theater. Ergh.

Cubes.

2004-10-22T16:00:11Z

When developing graphics for the web, it's always smart to look for patterns. That way, instead of creating large repeating graphics, you can just tile identical small pieces. It makes your page load quicker.

The cube farm I work in is one big repeating graphic. It is one 6x6 foot square repeated over and over and over and over and over again.

Refresh.

2004-10-21T16:20:05Z

I stayed up late last night cleaning off Becky's computer, and reformatting/rebuilding mine. So this morning I have two clean, sleek, lightweight machines... and an enormous Don't Spit the Water to-do list.

Becky and I did pick up the curtain fabric, though, which makes me feel a lot better. The fabric looks great... very gameshow.

Tonight, everything takes a backseat to my PoM show. I will probably stick around to catch Micetro as well... mainly to pad everyone's hand with some DSTW fliers.

Oh, Technology.

2004-10-20T16:44:00Z

I lament thee, Technology. Oy.

Last night and this morning were marked by several technology catastrophes. Becky's laptop is virus-ridden, my desktop is just... dead... and our bedroom ReplayTV is a bit ditzy.

When I should be wrapping up DSTW preparations, I'm troubleshooting TVs, hard drives, mp3 libraries...

It's all in the timing, I suppose. In order to clear space off of Becky's laptop so I could use it for DSTW, I had her attempt to transfer her mp3 library to the desktop machine. At the same time, I struggled to install the bedroom ReplayTV, which Becky picked up (loooong story) in the early evening. The external hard drive that stores the mp3s is on the fritz. My computer's network connections are on the fritz. Becky's computer has a freaky virus on it and is... on the fritz. And the ReplayTV is acting kinda funny.

Lessons learned:
1) Work on one thing at a time.
2) Don't attempt to resolve everything in the morning, when you have a train to catch.
3) Despite what Becky says, black shoes, khaki pants, black sweater = wrong.

Tonight I will try to resolve one item at a time, patiently.

In closing, Becky and a magical talking Turtle once sang:

Have patience, have patience,
Don't be in such a hurry!
When you get impatient,
You only start to worry.
Remember, remember,
that God is patient, too!
So think of all the times when he
Has been patient with you!

Postcards!

2004-10-19T14:58:39Z

The glossy postcards for Don't Spit the Water arrived last night, and I'm absolutely giddy over 'em. I brought a big stack to work so that I could start passing chunks to the cast members, and handing them out. I left a small stack at the Evanston Central Metra station, and it will be interesting to see if any disappear. I also left a couple on the train before I exited, in the slots where people normally place their tickets... and did notice one disappear before I could get off the train.

I still have a lot to do for this show, but it's nice to see things come together.

Urgh.

2004-10-18T19:15:56Z

The opening night of Don't Spit the Water coincides with the 1000th show for Baby Wants Candy, the city's most popular improv troupe. They'll be unveiling their newest form, the rock opera, complete with live band.

Urgh.

Well there's always week two, I s'pose.

And... Monday.

2004-10-18T18:40:50Z

I'll work backwards.

Sunday was excellent. I did a few chores, played a few video games, and hung out around the house with my most wonderful wife. I picked up the game Paper Mario for the GameCube... a sequel to an old N64 game that I just loved. This might eclipse my recent obsession with my MVP 2004 baseball team on the PS2, but hopefully only for a while.

Ah, Paper Mario. Such a silly game. Already I've enountered a character who shouts, "Bloopity bloopy bloobly boo!" The game is brilliantly written, and should be studied by smart people. Also, everyone I know should just play through the game so I'll have someone to discuss it with.

On Saturday I attended week 2 of a coaching workshop I'm taking. Me and 8 other students are shadowing Joe Bill as he coaches the first 8 weeks of an improv team. It's an interesting class, and has a reality TV feel to it. I'm often wary of these classes and workshops... I think most of them espouse betwitching snake oil that improvisors are far too eager to pay handsomely for. The verdict is still out here. I'll let you know the scoop further down the line.

After my workshop I floated around the city all day, like when I used to live out there. That was nice. I met Bryan and Deb for lunch, then caught the movie Yes Men at the Landmark. It's a documentary about two fellers who crossed the globe giving lectures as WTO representatives. An interesting TRICKING!@# film. Funny.

Then Cinco de Bob had their last show. Cinco was one of The Playground's founding teams, and included Doug Diefenbach... probably the person most responsible for The Playground's existence. I was asked to sit-in with the group on their last show, as were all other Cinco alums. (I played with them for an 8-month stint a couple o' years ago.) It was a fitting end to a nifty team, I s'pose. Packed house, packed stage, good times.

Friday. I don't remember Friday anymore. I guess I should have written about it on Friday.

I want to go home right now and play Paper Mario.

Check this out.

2004-10-14T19:40:38Z

I AM BIG AND MEAN!

I am small and nice!

Don't Spit!

2004-10-13T19:47:15Z

I met with most of the cast of Don't Spit the Water last night, and touched base with the comedians about the bits they would be performing on the show. I left last night more excited about the show than ever. I am lucky as nuts to have this cast. Each of the comedians will bring a different flavor to this show.

Hopefully they'll each bring a few audience members, too.

Whee!

Don't Spit the Water!

2004-10-12T19:14:35Z

Don't Spit the Water is drawing ever closer... I think I will be having dreams and nightmares about this show until it opens. I went postering with Paul last week, and just submitted a job to have 1,000 little postcards printed. I'll start distributing those like mad over the next week.

Here's the front & back... special thanks are due to Dave Gilley once again for his incredible houndstooth background, and, of course, the old man that spits water.

Front:

Back:

I can't wait until this show opens. I'm meeting with the cast tonight and distributing the scripts/outlines. Becky and I went fabric shopping over the weekend for the sparkly curtain. This will be much fun, Holmes.

Whee!@# I hope hope hope hope hope hope that this draws an audience. The show is shaping up to be absolutely hilarious, and it will be a tragedy if it's not well attended. Oy!@#